"Espresso! My Espresso!"
An Ongoing Internet Novelette
by Randy Glass - Copyright 2003 - All rights reserved
E-mail me at email@example.com
A 38 regular cappuccino
What size coffee do you wear? I wear a 38 regular cappuccino, evidently. The other morning I had finished preparing our two morning cappas, and we had taken a seat with our homemade muffin tops, ready to enjoy each other's company for a bit before heading off on the day's activities. As is often the case we were joined first by our German Shepherd who comes over to get her morning "biskies." Then moments later, a cat or three comes over to see what's going on. They are now a year old, and active, friendly, and fun to watch.. usually.
We keep our laundry rack next to our morning table in the den. The rack is a handy way to dry loads of things like underwear and socks without the expense of running the electric dryer or the hassle of going out to the clothes line. The laundry rack is also a regular hang out for the cats as well. They climb and jump on it like little monkeys. The largest of the three, a large, black, male, has a goodly amount of mass to him, and on this morning, as he jumped from the floor to the top of the rack, his weight caused the rack to unbalance, and in slow motion it began to fall over, following a wel-defined arc towards me. My wife gave a warning, but the rack was at the periphery of my vision, and as I was sitting on the floor, between a low table and a couch, I had little room to move. I also had a cup of hot coffee in my hand, so what little movement I could assemble was limited in velocity.
I turned and leaned away from the falling rack as best as I could, but it wasn't enough. The end of the rack struck my elbow and arm, and as the cat fell onto the table, coffee went everywhere. The hot liquid hurt no one physically, but as it dripped off my face and I regained clear vision, I could see that I was holding an empty vessel, there were a number of large, brown stains on the carpeting, and the cat smelled of Sumatran.
I was fine, but without coffee that morning. The carpet shampooer was brought out and the carpet cleaned, and the cat ended up embarrassed and spent most of the day hiding and cleaning himself. And I prefer a comfortable T-shirt to a cappuccino as my clothing of choice- When I have one.